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Thursday, September 16, 2010

Donate Your Billions...

I wish I had billions of dollars.

I would use it create and market the most offensive products I could think of.

Here is a sketch for a potential fast food restaurant:

Imagine: Giant, neon vulvae glowing against the night sky...all over the country...

This alone would be worth the money. But it wouldn't have to end there.

Our workers could have uniforms.

Here, for example, is what a drive-thru attendant might wear:

Instantly recognizable, the "Cunt Hat" would be our trademark.

Surreal as it may seem, the image is drawn to scale. The attendant would have to wear a back brace to support the weight (70+ lbs) of the plastic vagina on his head.

We'd have plenty of other ambiance that would distinguish us fro the competition. Like the "Cunt Table." Take a look:

The ovular shape allows a family of six to fit around the "Cunt Table" comfortably.

If you wanted a fork, you'd be out of luck. But, if you wanted something even better, we'd give you one of these:

Introducing the "Cunt Spoon." No explanation necessary.

Contact me if you want to be a shareholder. I think we could expect to make a lot from marketable idea like this one...

If you don't want to be a shareholder, please don't hate me or unsubscribe.


  1. Hmm...Interesting...I'll get back to you on that one.

  2. I wish you could see the look on my face right now. And then describe it to me because I'm not entirely sure what I'm feeling. Hilarity? Consternation? I'll think about over another beer.

  3. Two more things:
    1) What were you smoking when you came up with this?
    2) Can I have some?

  4. Best idea ever. I'll take a Cold Club Chicken Cunt Sandwich with a Cunta-Cola for a drink please.

  5. I think it's official. You have too much time on your hands.