Are You Hungry?

Here, have some ribs:

I hope you like them. I fixed them just for you.

Mayonnaise

This is the most honest thing I have ever seen:

Just a bottle filled with mayonnaise. There is no need for a label; people know what they're signing on for.

It's even iced. If it only had a rubber nipple on the end.

Like a giant, iced teat for adults to suckle.

Children could suckle it, too. Fat children.

Self-Portrait

This is an unfinished self-portrait:

I got really high one day and the image wouldn't leave my mind. I had to paint it. It is the only painting I have ever attempted.

This is not what I actually look like.

It scares the shit out of me.

Urban Legend #2

A man on acid.

What he sees:

The sudden appearance of a mountain. Perhaps like this one:

What he does:

He spends days climbing the mountain. It is a long and beautiful journey. At the top of the mountain he finds God. He talks to God briefly, then jumps off the mountain.

What his friends see:

The man gets on the roof of his house. There he finds a flying disc, which he talks to for four hours. He then jumps off the roof of his house and breaks both legs.